Happy 1st Birthday SPAZ!

Today is SPAZ's 1st Birthday! I didn't really know how to or what to say today in my post, but after a good pep talk from Ry, I know that what I say isn't what is important, but that I say something is what matters. I don't always know what to say but I normally let the pen or key- board takeover and never honestly know what I ever write or type. If you read my last post, I am not in the best place to write right now, but with a little help, pep talk, talk of ideas and possible directions. I have a beautiful post planned for you. (Thanks Ry <3 I appreciate you so much)

SPAZ was created as a way to bring awareness to suicide and trying to create suicide prevention through movement and by actually talking about mental health and suicide.

SPAZ was created to help my family cope with a devastating loss and to help bring awareness to a disease that took away a precious and loved life from our every day and to give us a way of grieving and helping other families.

SPAZ was created to help my mom and I cope with our own depression and anxiety through exercise while also spreading awareness to others about suicide and depression.

SPAZ was created as a safe place and judgment free zone to share feeling of depression, suicidal thoughts, dark clouds, and anything that affects mental health, mood, and stability.

I went back to read the 1st blog post written and posted on SPAZ's blog, the ideals and values of the team still stand, but have grown into so much more as time has progressed. Not only has the team grown, but the need for SPAZ has also changed. The need for support in the mental health world has only increased making SPAZ, though small, even more important.

Over the last year, I have learned so much from so many people. I have watched SPAZ grow from family, to gradually getting bigger and bigger. It has been hard to share some things I have, but with the hope of helping others, I decided to share the scary anyways. Through this, I have heard so many stories from others sharing with me their stories of depression and suicide. It has been an honor to be that safe place for others, and I appreciate the trust in me for others to feel they can share and ask for help and support.

I want to take this moment to thank all of my readers, all of our supporters, all of those who have shared the love with mom and I, and have been rocks for me through all of the hard days. You have made a difference. You have changed my life. You have helped keep me here and keep me writing. Thank you for an amazing year of creating my passion. Here’s to many more!

I couldn’t finish the blog without thanking my mom. Not only has mom been my partner in crime and partner in SPAZ, she has been an unwavering support system through all of this crazy stuff we are living through now. I can never repay her for all I am putting her through now, and how strong she is being for me though I know this is killing her inside. Mom, I love you to the moon and back. Thank you for doing this with me and helping me create this passion we have. I cannot wait to see what we can do and how big we can grow SPAZ to reach others!

You matter my friends. You are important. You are needed.

Our Story ;sn’t Over

I genuinely love you all!

P<3