While a hurricane doesn't normally bring rest and rejuvenation with it's definition, it is what I needed and received this weekend as it blew through our neck of the woods.
Rest
I guess I could look up the definition, but in my everyday life, it is pretty non existent. Sure I flop in my recliner at the end of the day to completely zone out before I head to the bed, but rested is not how I feel. As I grow more in tune with my mind and body, I realize that once my body tells me it needs "rest" my brain is long over do, and thus the Brain Demon makes an appearance (last week).
It's funny to me how I have been dealing, pretty intensely, with anxiety since I was 13 or 14 and I am just now learning about my bodies signs and signals. Hell I still don't understand them all, it took me all week to realize that anxiety was the reason for my hiccup last week. Rest seems to be one of the number one factors, and I frankly, just don't get enough.
Rejuvenation
I slept in. I slept until after 7am Friday, Saturday, and Sunday (that's a miracle if you don't know me yet)! I then proceeded to slowly drink coffee while working on either the blog, social media sites, or a few presents for my loved ones! It was amazing!
I also found rejuvenation in the fact that I set out my workout plan for this weekend and I CRUSHED IT! I did exactly what I had planned Saturday and Sunday without any wavering (another miracle I am trying to work on), but Friday came with a twist.
Friday I did not go to work (had worked the previous Sunday and had no clue of road conditions as the day weathered on) so I had the opportunity to try out the Y in Salisbury for the first time! What should have been an awesome opportunity had me in shear panic... I don't even know where the fitness center is?! What if I don't know how to use their equipment? Why is everyone staring at me? Holy crap must stick to treadmill everything else looks foreign! Holy crap they have two pools! Which one do I use? What is reserved? This is too much... I literally had a panic attack just trying to get to the Y! The Brain Demon had struck again.
I felt helpless! Why in the hell am I freaking out trying to get to the Y! My introverted nature was being tested and I hate that! I just want to stay in my quiet, protected bubble where I know everyone and everything is okay and safe; where I know how to do everything and don't need any help or to talk to any strangers because I know what is going on. Yeah, the Brain Demon reeked havoc upon me, but there is a silver lining. I DID go to the Y in Salisbury, I power walked on the treadmill for a little over an hour and lifted weights, but just getting to that point was mentally exhausting! Trying to figure out the swim situation was just more than I could handle in one day...
Reset
The good thing about a hurricane is that it gives you time to reflect, review, and RESET your goals, while also planning some new ones! I was not happy with how my workouts have been going, I've been very flaky, not following the schedule, picking and choosing, I just needed to gain a little perspective on exactly what my goal is and how to achieve it! With my mind and body rested, I feel as if I am in a better place mentally and physically, so this weeks test? FOLLOW THE TRAINING PLAN UNWAVERING!
I also gave myself one new challenge this week.
12PM: Walking Meditation
For 21 days I am going to try and do a Walking Meditation for 15 minutes every day. Not only good for my mind, but good to make me consciously move my body before lunch and after being in my office all morning.
Tip for Today
dLots of useless, but humanizing information in this post, but here is my tip for today. You do not know how the Brain Demon effects others. Do not judge some of the "weirdos" at the gym, or the hesitant people to make eye contact at the grocery store, or those who look lost but for the love of God, will not ask for help. The Brain Demon, until you start to realize that is exactly what it is, tells you all kinds of things that are scary and intensify these situations, just smile and offer a reassuring nod, that's all we need.... A friend.
