Depression has been a big topic of discussion lately for me and for my close circle. A lot of deep conversations with a lot of revelations have surfaced and you begin to realize just how much of a stigma there is attached to this uncontrollable disorder. You begin to put together what people think depression should looks like, acts like, or even feels like without the thought that this disease is completely different in each person and can manifest itself in so many ways that it can also make you believe something else is wrong with you or that you have a serious illness.
Depression has so many negative connotations to it and sometimes even thought to be fake or people exaggerating or wallaring in their problems. Depression is a hard disease to cope with, and if the willpower of the sufferer is not strong enough, or they are unaware of what is going on in their body, unhealthy coping mechanisms sometimes occur. These can also cause stigmas or negative connotations as those negatives can be alcohol, drugs, running away, total seclusion, and so on. Even sometimes, turning healthy living into negatives like over-exercise, extreme food control, starving, binge eating, and things of that nature.
Depression can take your brain and morph it into something or someone that does not believe you have the right to live. That you are so inconvenient and such a burden to this world that you should not be in it. You are such an issue, that others lives would be positively impacted if you left this planet permanently. It fails to give you what happened to those who actually do love you and care for you, that don’t think you are a burden. Those people are left to pick up the pieces of what depression is doing to your brain. Those people are left to watch you suffer as you begin to fall apart from all the stress your brain is unnecessarily putting on your body. Those people are the ones watching you die a slow, painful death and can’t stop the train before it collides.
This post is going to be short and sweet, but I want to inform you about what depression really looks like. I want to share with you how to help others whose brains are broken and fighting them tooth and nail. I want to break the stigma of mental health disorders and stop making them a dirty secret. People are dying because their brains are attacking them and they’ve fought so hard that they finally give in.
Depression can cause withdrawal from people, and things that you love. These guys have probably suffered more from the aftermath of depression than anyone. All the love they have to give, still doesn't help me get down the stairs some mornings or help fill the empty gap I have in my heart and soul, but they are the best support when the tears start to flow.
Depression stares you down and tells you, you aren't good enough for anyone or anything. It physically makes you ill so that you won't leave your house and won't try to get out of bed. The Brain Demon wants you to stay home and keep your mind focused on how terribly awful you feel because that gets him one step closer to winning. Last Tuesday, he just doesn't know how close he was.....
Depression is going to work 5-6 days a week and putting on the big fake smile, when you just want to die. Fake it till you make it sometimes becomes your words to live by as a full time and part time job don't stop just because you want to die and your back and neck are so achy you can barely stand. You put on the happy mask and continue through.
Depression is finding some way to cope with your demons, even though you can have your very best race and you are going to go home and rip yourself apart. Depression tries to steal all the joy out of anything you love so you lose all passion and zest for life. Sometimes, even your coping mechanisms become too much and you find yourself completely lost looking for something to help ease the pain just a little.
I found this picture this week.... I immediately sent it to my mom and told her this was the most accurate description of depression I had ever heard. I resonate so much with this quote. I told my doctor this week, as I conquered one of my fears, that my outside person wants to live, not just be alive she wants to LIVE, but my brain person wants to die and we are in a colossal battle of who wins....
Here's just a little look in the life of someone with depression. Don't judge a book by it's cover and always love everyone to the fullest of your ability. You never know who's life you are impacting. 99% of the people with depression never talk about it, I am an exception to the rule, because I don't give two shits what anyone thinks about me and my mental capacity. My coping mechanism is speaking and sharing the truth to be the support and sounding board for others like me, and for teaching those who do not understand this disease how to help those with it.
Our Story ;sn't Over
P<3