After the holidays being a complete and total bust for me, I sit here and wonder… What’s next? Where do we go from here? Do I believe in complete do-overs? Can I leave all this in the past and take 2020 as a start from scratch? What has 2019 taught me that I need to take with me? Will the holidays always be this hard, or was it just the progression of shitty holidays over the years that hit a head? How can I make this my best year yet? I don’t even believe in New Year’s Resolutions, so is that even possible? All the questions, all the dreams and theories and hopes, but none of the answers or correct frame of mind to think them through.
I know I am ready to start fresh. I just want to take 2020 and make it the best year ever. 2019 was a season of change, uncertainty, and complete destruction and rebuilding of my being. The person I was before 2019 doesn’t exist anymore, she was lost to the heartaches, tears, tribulations, and triumphs of 2019, but in all honesty, I had been gone for a long time anyways, it is like a rebirth. What is scary for me is believing that a new year is going to bring the change I want and need. In all honesty, it is just another day, just another number in the date has changed, how am I supposed to believe that when the last number changes to 20 everything somehow changes? I want to believe it, but can I live through the disappointment of another year crumbling beneath my feet. There have been so many hardships, but also so many good things that 2019 brought to me, the good things were worth all the heartache. In this time of reflection, I want to touch on the good stuff and let the bad stuff be what it is… bad and in the past.
January 26th- I set off on my own to pick up the life I had lost, and create what I had been looking for for so long.
February 9th- Started working out/shadowing to become an OTF coach
February 23rd- I went to my first Masquerade Ball with my family and danced the night away!
March 2nd- Training day at Beaufort, training for the Full Booty and got to actually drink a cider after our ride/run!
March 11th- Had the blessing to turn 25 and celebrate it with all of my closest friends at my own place
March 17th- PR’d my marathon time by almost 20 minutes
March 23rd- Created an amazing Parkinson’s group that has become a huge part of my life and has helped so many in our community and the communities around us.
March 30th- Got the privilege to do the Blackbeard 100 Mile Relay and meet the most wonderful Sarah!
April 5th-7th- Got to go on a girl’s trip with my very best girlfriend to DC and have an absolute blast while also getting the privilege to run in the Cherry Blossom 10 Miler which I absolutely loved!
April 13th- Did the Tarwheel Century with my mom in pouring down rain and had an absolute BLAST! While also getting our best century time we’ve ever had.
April 14th- Did my first Half Marathon alone at the Flying Pirate Half and took 7 minutes off of my fastest half to date with a 2:10…. The time to beat!
April 20th- I got the honor of being beside Christy as she married her sweetheart Troy as I watched love blossom so much between them.
May 5th- I walked arm in arm with my 82 year old grandmother as she finished her first 5k and became an official diva at Diva’s Myrtle Beach 5k.
May 12th- I somehow in someway was given an amazing race day to show off all I had pushed through and worked so hard for to place as first overall female in the Crystal Coast Full Booty Triathlon. I knocked over 2 hours off my previous full iron time.
May 14th- I got to watch my sweet friend Stevra marry her sweetheart Anthony while drinking margaritas and eating fajitas and guacamole and salsa bar!
May 18th- I took my first ever hike up a mountain and fell in absolute love!
May 23rd- I became an OTF Coach!!! The Orange family changed my life and gave me an amazing new group of amazing people and support.
June 1 & 2- I rode my second double century with my mom in our most favorite place.
June 23rd- Won 3rd place in a sprint triathlon with a pulled groin
June 29th- Walked my first 50K! 21 Miles of the 31 with a 12lb weight vest on!
July 10th- Met Ry for the first time…. Who knew that would be one of the best days of my life
July 13th- Had the absolute honor of giving the eulogy at my Uncle’s life celebration. UC I miss your texts and check in calls every single day, but somehow still know you are with me always.
August 4th- I got to celebrate my little Bubble Head’s 4th birthday. What a blessing my brother is in my life. I love that monkey to absolute pieces.
August 10th-11th- High Point Sprint Triathlon was really good to me this year and I had a great time for where I was in my training. I also got to help Ashley get through her first triathlon and watch her get on the podium the first time she ever tried a tri! August 11th was my first official date with Ryan at Salem Lake <3
August 17th- I rode my favorite bike ride of the year with a complete stranger and had the best time ever!
August 20th- I finally reached out for help
September 1st- Took my second hike at Pilot Mountain with Marlee and Stevra and doggies. We had the best time and as always it is an amazing challenge.
September 7th-8th- I went to Yoga for Warriors training and found where my calling is for teaching yoga. Teaching trauma informed yoga is my happy place and an element in which I excel and can help bring calmness and peace to all with the racing minds.
September 11th-14th- I went to Asheville for the first time and got to go on my first trip with Ry! We had the best time tent camping in the mountains. We hiked and swam and cooked over the fire. We went exploring and just completely let go of life for the few days we were together. On my bad days, I go back there….
September 15th- I did my first Olympic distance triathlon in quite a few years and placed second in my age group even after a pretty bad run. I got to see Ashley kickass in her first Olympic! Also took my first cooking class spending quality time with my daddy!
September 22nd- Went to the zoo with Ry and made the best day of it!
September 28th- After being almost hospitalized and told I couldn’t be alone I still went to Salem Lake and did the 7 miler on a day I had to fight myself to not go home and end my life. This race will always hold a special place for me as it truly saved my life that day.
October 18th-20th- Had the absolute privilege of going to Wilmington to cheer on some of my dearest friends and spend time whatevering with the bitches
October 26th- My family and I went to Charles City to do the Out of Darkness walk which meant so much to me and my journey.
October 27th- I finally got to make my dream come true of riding my bike on the Capital Trail in the fall with the colorful leaves all around!
November 2nd- PR’d my 5K time and one of the most difficult 5k’s I have ever done. The day and course were hard but I had an amazing morning and the best two cheerleaders a girl could ask for. This was the 3rd race Ry had been to and cheered for me and it seemed to help fuel the fire each time, knowing I’d get to see him at a weak point in my day. Through my sister a 15th birthday party and let Ryan meet my mom’s side of the family, we truly had a great day.
November 4th- Bought my brand new Subaru all by myself!
November 16th- Through a party at my house for our friends and family to get together and have a gather for Friendsgiving! We had a fabulous time and I was so happy to have Ry by my side as we got to thank all of our support for getting us through my hard times.
December 7th- Had a fabulous time killing it with my mom at the Wilmington Historic Half as we power walked our way through the course meeting many wonderful people and getting to help a lady in a wheelchair finish her first half!
December 28th-29th- Surprised Ry by taking him on a trip to Williamsburg and going to Busch Gardens’ Christmas Town. Any time we get to spend together is the happiest time for me, my cheeks may be sore from all the smiling.
When you write it all down… no matter how many bad things may have been in there… That is an amazing year! I have been given the gift of people, love, athletic ability, patience, persistence, ability to push through, and humility. What more could you possibly ask for.
How did I get to live this life?!
Our Story ;sn’t Over